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22 October 1999

So Iím watchingWasteland. I really like it, again. Blonde-chicky (darn, what is her name?) Anyway, she just had a Ďperfectí date. And she doesnít want to go out with him again. Itís because she already knows how a special-someone makes her feel, and no matter how nice someone else is, they arenít him. Does it ever pass? Sometimes I think Iím picking someone cuz they remind me of someone or other, even when I try not to. So tonight, blonde-chicky seems to be part of me, or something like that. Not finding the right person to fill that hole in my life is what hurts. Not knowing if I ever will is what leads to the hopelessness. And the loneliness. And the hollow emptiness. Sorry, guess thatís redundant. And not very upbeat.

I quit my job a week ago tomorrow. Luckily for me and them, I got part of it officially back today. Iíll keep doing weekends. I usually work a full-time and a part-time job anyway, and this pays much better than the mall. For now my challenge is writing the training materials for someone to be able to do the job all week, and train the person to try it first. Itís not hard, just tedious.

Two days till My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult! The show is at St Andrewís Hall in Detroit, which is an excellent venue. I saw Frontline Assembly there a few months back. Churches have the best acoustics!

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